The Plague

I acquired a summer flu like people acquire bad habits or a missing limb; they do not want it, but it happens. I live with a perpetual raw throat. I have chalked it up to allergies. It took a turn for the worse when I spent two evenings with a wonderful woman outside. These late summer nights have been beautiful; cool with a breeze. The combination seemed to have been good for something else too.

I have been convalescing for the past two and a half days. She visited me each evening. She brought comfort, Kleenex's, and juice. She has been wonderful; like an angel bringing encouragement and strength to the weary.

We are progressing steadily towards two months together. We have spent a good deal of time together, so much so, that it feels much longer than the less than two months it actually has been. I am perfectly content holding her, looking into her eyes, or simply being in her presence listening to the sounds of nature.

I had put together some thoughts regarding woman and what I was looking for in them. There were only a handful of characteristics that I was interested in. I feel rather vain in listing them because few of them were inner qualities that are truly valuable.

I want to marry someone who has brothers and sisters; a large family. I wasn't denied this attribute as I grew up with many friends and was adopted into their family as a son. I saw my friends siblings as my own, but it was something I was interested in. She is sociable, able to navigate within family structures and gets along with a variety of people. Children of large families are also fairly accommodating of different personalities. This leads to someone who is fun to be around, creative, and happy with simple things.

I wanted her to be a cute or attractive crier. I'm not sure where this idea came from, but I wanted her to cry and still be attractive to me. Crying is often associated with weakness, but that is not always the case. There is a heart aspect to this that I hadn't considered before. I feel that it indicates someone with a heart. They show empathy with others and situations and they understand hurt, pain, and joy in this world. I find this attractive in a person as it means they are human and share their humanity with others.

I wanted her to sing. I love singing. I love listening to people sing. I love the idea of hearing a song or music and thinking of her. I love hearing it from another room and I love singing along. Singing carries with it beauty, the ability to make something from nothing, but, at least for me, there a subtle vulnerability. Do I sing well? Do they like it? I have a very limited range and only a handful of songs I feel comfortable singing and I tend to sing them a certain way.

I want her to be educated. I want someone who will be a peer to me. She must be able to challenge me both spiritually and academically. She must have a "good head on her shoulders." This doesn't mean she must have a college degree or pursue an advanced degree. Wisdom can take many forms. I know people who are brilliant academically and inept worldly and vice-versa. Both of my parents were educated and it has been something they encouraged me to pursue from a very young age.

I guess I'm less ashamed of these than I was at the beginning. Expanding upon them gives them more substance and a better appeal. The ability to accept and live with others, the ability to empathize and find joy with others, the ability to share it with others, and all done in an intelligent manner are all incredibly attractive qualities to me.

She is one of six children and has four or five aunts and uncles with lots of cousins (a large family). She gets emotionally involved in books, movies, and touching stories (she cries). She loves performing and constantly has a song on her heart (she loves to sing). She will graduate this coming May and wants to pursue an advanced degree or two (is educated). She meets these four attributes and I am very much attracted to her.

* - The inevitable post script. There was one last attribute that I neglected to mention previously. I have grown up in a religious household. It is something that is important to me. I don't like the "beat you over the head with the Bible" mindset, though I do believe in a good deal of it. (A side note, I would much rather build a relationship with someone and allow for avenues of discussion than have no relationship and attempt to "prove my viewpoint right.") If religion were not a part of her life I would more than likely not be interested in her. It isn't a bad thing, just merely a passing interest.

She has a passion for God that is contagious. I'm of the mindset that God desires a relationship with you and he will do almost anything to be with you. He has used the relationship I have with this woman to get to know me again. This isn't the first time it has worked this way and though I am hoping it will be the last. :)