The cat is out of the bag.

I said it. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should've. Eitherway, I said it.

I've been thinking about love a lot recently (I wonder why). I follow a religion that promotes love as the greatest attribute. It (this religion) has become lost in this world, but the heart, the soul, the core of this religion is love. Love for God; love for family; love of neighbor. Why is it that love for your romantic interest is so different?

I continue to love things about her. I like her a lot. I love her family. Why does saying "I love you" change the dynamic of the relationship? I would not be in a relationship with her if I didn't love her. I would not want to spend time with her if I didn't love her. Saying "I love you" won't change my actions or attitude towards her.

Maybe I'm concerned because that is the most open and vulnerable I've been with another person in my whole life. It is the ultimate opening of my heart. She was not ready to say it in return.

The good news is that I can be patient. I waited over a year to ask this woman out. I debated the pros and cons. I prayed and sought advice. I was patient. I waited to initiate physical contact with her. We had been on a couple dates before I held her hand and a few more before we cuddled together. It was even more before I held her closely.

If I want to kiss her I must be patient even longer. Oh what a weird dichotomy. Life never stops. The song says that "time keeps on slipping into the future." It goes by so fast. Children grow up before you even know it. Dates arrive before they were supposed to. This world, governed by time, moves so fast and yet patience is a virtue. We have to wait and be patient in a world that is constantly moving. The phrase, "hurry up and wait" appears to carry an increasing significance.