Friday, August 10, 2012

I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you.

She loves spending time with me. I love spending time with her. I can't quite get enough of this woman. I feel like I'm drinking water and always thirsty for more. How this woman is able to be around me, consistently for any period of time, is completely unfathomable to me. My family loves me, but they get tired after a time. My friends enjoy being around me, but they too need a break from me. This woman and I have seen each other, talked, or texted everyday since our first date. We are going on weeks in a row of seeing each other and spending time together.

We spend time together, just us. We hold each other and talk while sitting on a swing in the back yard. We go swimming with her siblings. We go out to hear live music and line dancing with her grandparents. We attend outdoor concerts and plays.

She asked me what my favorite date has been. I cheated. I love spending time with her so much that my favorite dates are the ones where she is present. I love throwing a frisbee with her. I love walking with her. I love breaking bread with her (i.e. sharing a meal with her). I love holding her. I love talking with her. I love holding her hand. That is my favorite date. I love looking into her eyes. I love capturing her glance. I love being in her presence. That is my favorite date. I love playing with her hair. I love her smell. I love riding the Ferris wheel with her. That is my favorite date. I love going to shows and concerts with her. I love when she holds me tightly. I love when she smiles and laughs. That is my favorite date. I love sitting with her. I love listening to nature with her. I love watching the clouds and night sky with her. That is my favorite date. Yes I cheated.

I have said as much to her. And every time I say it I can't help but feel that God is saying the same thing to me. He loves spending time with me. He loves being in my presence. He loves me. I have not said that to her yet. I have wanted to. The words have been on my lips, but I have not said them. Oddly enough they have been in my eyes from the very beginning.

Since our first date I have looked into her eyes. They change color based upon my proximity. At close range there is a ring of fire around the pupil and the color is amber. As I move away they become green and eventually brown. They are hazel which allows for the change. Every so often I'll ask her what my eyes are saying. She gets a little timid and looks away. I know what they are saying. She knows what they are saying, but we're both a little too shy to admit the truth.

Yes I like this woman. In fact I love this woman. I've prayed that God would hold my heart because I am all to ready to give it to her.

2 comments:

  1. This reminded me a lot of the first few dates with Lindsay. I think I told her the first date that I only date to marry and then I made her tell me she loved me before I said it. So mean right? It is a difficult thing to do because you don't want to overwhelm them or scare them off if they have commitment issues.

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    Replies
    1. I really want to be the first one to say it, but I want her to be ready to say it in return.

      I asked her for a favor. When she is ready to answer the question, "What are my eyes telling you" I want her to tell me she is ready. It is my subtle way of saying when you're ready to read "I love you" in my eyes I want you to tell me because I want to tell you that I love you.

      You're right though. I feel like we are both the fisherman and the fish or a weird dance where we both lead and follow at the same time.

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