I am inundated with thoughts regarding relationships recently. I believe that I am being rather impetuous. I want things to progress faster than they are and I'm beginning to feel my impatience emerge. I have this feeling that I am her first serious crush/boyfriend and, as funny as this sounds, she is mine. The only hindrance is that mine appears more awkward and concerning. I am now the ripe old age of 30 while she is a spry 21 year old. For her this is expected. She is youthful, pretty, smart, and intelligent. All aspects that are appealing to men.
I am mature, wizened, intelligent, and just entering the prime of my life. The concerning part is that I have never had a serious relationship. Should this be cause for caution? ... Is something wrong with him?
I'm scared she will "wake up" one day and realize that she can do better than me; that I am not the man for her and that she no longer wishes to walk this journey of life with me. Maybe this is the incentive men look for when pursuing a woman. That they are scared that she will decide to no longer stay with them and so they must continually seek that affirmation. It's probably what drives men to foolish behavior. I really hope I can get some of these thoughts answered at some point.
Maybe I just need to calm down and let this play out further before digging too deep into my own thoughts. I do have this tendency to over think and analyze situations.
I've tried to remain fairly religion free on here. I don't wish to alienate individuals. My religion has come out from time to time, but I strive to be open minded and nonthreatening. I have rediscovered a song from my youth. It runs through my mind. Akin to a hunter tracking its prey it is relentless. The song is, "You are so good to me."
It speaks of the goodness that happens in life. If you understand and appreciate that then thank you. If you disagree, then skip it. You won't like it.
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