Postponement is rarely a desired outcome. Delaying something potentially enjoyable is never something someone looks forward to. This "huge date" planned for Sunday the 17th was interrupted by Fathers' Day. So it was delayed until the following Sunday. It was like knowing a storm was coming, preparing for it, and then finding that it pushed South, but there was another front building out West and was heading your direction.
She surprised me with the idea of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the local park. I was not expecting that, a picnic. I was given some fantastic advice by "yé oldé padré" and asked her what she wanted and stated my intention to pick up everything. ... I picked up too much and planned a meal enough for a family of 4. I didn't even bring everything I bought. I wanted to provide plenty of options.
We ate and talked. I found out about her family and shared with her some of mine. She was honest and shared some pain. She was already privy to some of mine. I discovered once again that this world is so very hard and painful; that it hurts sometimes. Yet, there are friends and family there to help ease the burden and soothe the hurts of this world.
We walked and talked and talked and walked. We threw the frisbee and talked. We sat on my tailgate and talked. I remember looking at my clock twice. Once at 3:30 and the second time at 6:00. I spent 5 hours in her company and it felt too short.
I feel like we're fencing, each other trying to figure the other party out. We are looking at weaknesses, probing, developing a strategy. I think this women actually likes me. There is a chance (slight) that I'm actually the subject of the sentence, "I met this boy today" or "I went on a date with this boy and had a good time."
And like that the feeling, "she is just a nice, good girl. She doesn't like you like that. She is just being nice and took pity on you" rises up inside me.
I made up my mind several years ago, that if I were to ever date a woman I would want her to come out of the relationship better. A better person, showing some sign of growth. I would feel like a failure if the relationship ended and there was no positive gain from it. We may part as enemies, hating, and feuding with each other, but I truly want her to have grown, learned more about herself, life, and this tragic, hard, yet wonderful world around her. The hopeful aspect of this philosophy is that it isn't mutually exclusive. It is entirely possible that she (she in the unknown, no specific person sense, not my current interest) and I could spend the rest our lives together and she will grow and experience this life, and the coolest thing about that is that I get to be a part of it. We would get to share it together.
I've always seen relationships, especially romantic ones, like a journey. Finding a spouse is a lot like finding a traveling partner. You make a conscious decision to travel through life together. It's a lot like the "Footprints in the Sand" picture except you see a third set join you and Jesus somewhere down the beach.
I haven't discovered any new musicians recently. My current favorite artist, Jason Myles Goss, released a new album recently. He will be in Chicago in July. I'm thinking about waiting till then to pick it up. There a few catchy songs that I heard through my first play through. I need to listen to it more. I thought I would try and share a song that has been going through my mind, but they would all be incredibly sappy given my current state of affairs. I'll leave you with this little gem then.
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