I am enamored with time at the moment. I want more time. I need more time. I want it to stop for everyone but me. I want to control it; to spend it with the people whom I care immensely for.
We did a funny thing when we first started dating. We'd ask each other random, fun questions. One of these questions was, "what super power would I want?" I told her I wanted the ability to control time. In my 30+ years of living there are many times I would want to change small, somewhat insignificant aspects of my life. I don't want to go back in time and cure my mothers' cancer, but I would want to go back and tell her I loved her one last time.
I wouldn't want to say, "do this or do that" to myself, but I would want to make sure that I remember those times I lived. And that is all the past.
My future looks very promising, but I'd want to slow down time with her; to make it last.
My uncle passed away a couple of weeks ago. I was the only representative from my mothers' side of the family. Neither my father, nor my sister were able to attend the memorial and internment.
He was a large fellow. I remember he came to visit a couple times when I was growing up and would stay in my room because my box spring and mattress was on the floor. He wouldn't always bath often or properly due to his size. He lived larger than life. He didn't take crap from the world and typically that was what he gave back to it. That is my memory of the man. That is the impression he left on me as I grew up.
A couple of years ago he came up to his mothers' 90th birthday party. He had health issues and lost a considerable amount of weight. He was still tall, but thinner (not the good kind of thin). I saw him interact with my cousins and me and he would call me a, "dumb-ass" if the situation warranted it. He picked on us boys, but the moment my sister entered the room he would immediately take notice of her and on one hand call us fools and the other be the most respectful and polite individual one could imagine.
See he loved my birth mother. My sister is similar to her in many respects. I found it interesting to see the change come over him and the power a woman can have on a "rough and tumble" man. As we left the party I hugged him and told him I loved him. He didn't know what to make of it. I don't think he's ever been told that by his son or nephews. He stammered something out that I don't remember. My sister did the same, but it was different.
At his memorial service many people spoke about him. The overwhelming comment was he was a good, dependable, giving friend. He offered of himself anything that was at his disposal. Stories of fixing swing sets for neighbors, rebuilding stairs in and out of houses. This giving of himself seems to define him. It is who he will be remembered for (Along with some humorous elements.)
What will I be remembered for?
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