Forgiveness

I have horrible habits. One of these habits is to shift the blame (it has also been known as blame shifting). I was given answers that were technically true and I ran with it.

The right decision was made, but I told the story incorrectly. I feel I am more to blame for the relationship not working out than she is. When we spoke I made it out to be her, her family, and how she reacts. That is true, but that is only partially true because I should bear more of the burden than I had.

I failed her. I failed myself. I failed God.

I did not make God a priority in the relationship. I did not set a spiritual tone. I did not always show respect to her or place her first. I lived selfishly and self-indulgently. If I am to make any progress; if I am to grow at all I have to acknowledge these failures in my life and work to make them strengths.

The funny thing is that I have taken weaknesses and turned them to strengths before. I vividly remember a former boss coming to me and making a major show of my lack of attention to detail. I made it a point to "show him" and I feel that attention to detail is a major strength of mine to this day.

I owe her an apology. She needs to know that it is not her or her families fault that we broke up. It was my fault and I can accept that. I did not lead the relationship, I mislead her (even if it was a lie of omission it was still a lie). If my sister or good friend were dating a man like me I would advise them to end the relationship. It would only bring pain, suffering, and heartache.