To The Very Fires of Mordor

There is a scene in The Fellowship of the Ring where the men are tempted by the ring. Boromir attempts to take the ring by force making Frodo flee. Frodo is found by Aragorn and Frodo asks the question, "Will you be able to protect the ring from yourself?" Frodo then holds the ring out to Aragorn.

Aragorn moves towards Frodo, kneels down, and hessitates over taking the ring. He pauses for this brief moment and then closes Frodo's hand around the ring and pushes it towards Frodo. He says, "I would have followed you to the very end; to the very fires of Mordor."

I see that exchange as a trial that Aragorn must pass and he has enough knowledge of himself to say that he would have protected the ring to the very end, but come up wanting like his fore bearers. His sire Isildur had the opportunity to destroy the ring and rid Middle Earth of the threat of Sauron once and for all and the temptation of power corrupted him and he failed to fulfill his task.

Aragorn was faced with the same scenario and he knew he would fail like Isildur.

I faced a trial over the past 24 hours. This is the hardest, most gut wrenching choice I had to make in my entire life. I had to choose between ignoring warning signs, heeding wise advice and counsel, and pursuing my own dreams and desires or ending the relationship that we have been cultivating for almost 3 years.

I would have followed her to the very end; to the very fires of an unhappy marriage.

I lied to myself. I turned a blind eye to red flags and by lying to myself I lied and misled her. I have never loved her more than I have over the past day. I cried more over the past day than in 3 years of our relationship.

During the course of the conversation we acknowledged that we both failed. We both ignored warning signs, made compromises, and let each other off on issues that are "make-or-break."

I have issues from my script, my story, that I need to take care of. I have growth that needs to happen. I need to move, grow, and go forward. I now fear slipping back into old paths.

"Change comes with pain, but the pain of staying the same will eventually be even worse."