Nothing, Nothing at All

I don't want to eat because every meal I planned I planned for us.
I don't want to make plans because I would make them with both of us in mind.
I don't want to watch anything because we would watching programs together.
I don't want to do anything because I was always waiting for the next moment we could spend together.
I don't want to drive places because I'm not going to pick her up.
I feel like I have lost my best friend.

I want to call her all the time to make sure she is ok.
I want to see her and confirm that she is alright with my own eyes.
I want to hug her and never let her go.
I want to kiss her forehead.
I want to smell her perfume.
I want to hear about her day.
I want to share with her mine.
I miss her very much.

We need distance.
We need separation.
We need to make meals for ourselves.
We need to make plans that do not involve each other.
We need to watch programs alone.
We need to feel comfortable being alone again.
We need to be reminded who our best friend really is and the joy that can be found with them.

The first paragraph made me depressed.
The second made me sad and about to cry.
The last gave me hope and reminded me what I need to do. I really do feel better after writing and reading this last paragraph.