Many events have transpired since last October. So many that to begin would bore you, so I will share what has been on my mind recently.
I near an end to another chapter of my life in but a few days. My twenties have been good, though they could've been better. I enjoyed them, but failed to live them to my fullest. I am beginning to fear that, as I look back upon my life, it is full of a good deal of regrets. Some in lost opportunities for advancement professionally. Some in romantic endeavors. Some in pain and sorrow for friends and family that I have treated poorly. I fear these regrets may begin to define me more than the character that underlies them. I fear I may be remembered not for who I am, but for all the missed opportunities I did not pursue.
As I grow older (and maybe, just a little bit wiser) I begin to realize how true the statement is that you never really know anything. It isn't so much to say that I know less now than I did 10 years ago, but that there is so much more to know and I am beginning to realize I do not know it. The story doesn't end there, it is ever increasing.
I forget where I left off with my music and romantic interests. I may have already listed both her and this song (in a blog of ~6 posts I could go back and read, but that would feel rather defeatist at this point). I meet her maybe 3 years ago in a different life. (A poetical way of saying that I was working for the same organization, but in a different capacity.) She was a GA, an indentured servant, for the university. She was given a group to shepherd and would bring me a task to do that was mildly tedious and I would give her a hard time for doing it (but if she were to ever asked me to something even more laborious I would perform it diligently and without question... "as you wish").
A little over a year ago I began to advance my education and was thrilled to discover that she was in the class and we would be going through the program together. I saw this as a wonderful opportunity to learn about her, who she was, and be in her presence. I sat wonderfully content knowing that we would have 2 years together to cultivate a relationship.
Oblivious to the realization that this class, for her, was redundant as she had already achieved one degree of mastery and another was but icing on the proverbial cake. The time came where she was going to find herself no longer here. Her own romantic interests, passions, and life decided that her season here had ended. A missed opportunity.
I have liked Jason Mraz for a good deal of time now, but I never really knew what songs he sung or truly pursued him as an artist. Through some weird convergence of events I purchased his "Live & Acoustic" album. I enjoyed the album very much and, as I am wont to do, narrowed in on one song that stood out from the others.
I guess my core genre is adult contemporary, but I have found the sub-genre of folk and/or acoustic/live sets. One of the last songs on the CD is called "Zero Percent." The album is live. There may be an accompanying band, but here they seem to fall off. The song ranges from a quick tempo to slow audience participation and even some minor cultural influences. He breaks into an "our house" course from a popular '80's song. It ends with a little reggae. It is a unique, yet intoxicating blend of styles mixed together into a wonderful song.
I can't help but think of this song and this woman together. This is her song. It was August, the windows were down, the wonderful northern breeze was blowing and I would drive, blaring this song out, and think of her and what could've, might've been one day.
A missed opportunity, one of many in this short life.
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